im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
