we're blogging at a bar
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize