I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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