So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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