somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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