My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
