So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
sex in a hospital.. check
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
