He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
