Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
they need to just BURY HIM!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
