I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
