but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
