forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
