Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
True strength comes from lack of pants
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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