she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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