9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
