Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I looked at my own cervix.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
