Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
