You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
