Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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