youre lurking in front of me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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