Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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