My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I enjoy the company of your penis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
