Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
