That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
