with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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