I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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