That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize