I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
my liver is dry heaving
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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