He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.