ya dads aren't the best wingmen
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever