Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk