Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers