Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
