At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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