Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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