There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
