Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize