We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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