Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
