my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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