Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let's paint friendship bongs
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
