You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
