I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
