i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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