im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
