you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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