I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
