why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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