how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
In America we eat man semen.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
