hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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