My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
