She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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