besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize