he thought i was a dude.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
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You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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