Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
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He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
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I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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