ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
