so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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