don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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