All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
