why do cheetos always look like penises
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
