Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
