I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
